Photo by Sarah Deshaw
We were minutes from the Church where the wedding was going to be held and would most likely slide into a seat seconds before the wedding would begin. The parking lot approached and I gently touched his hand and said, ” Is it Us that is walking into this wedding?” He smiled, knowing exactly what I was implying. He further explained that his mind was focused on some deadlines and the stress from the early part of the day, however he was at peace with me, rather Us. We joined hands and walked into the wedding. Weddings have a way of re- kindling the love, don’t they? I mean, who can sit in a wedding and not entertain flashbacks of their own special day? not me.
I heard a lecture on the power of Us versus You and Me two weeks ago while attending a connected 4 Life Marriage weekend. This talk invited me to see how often I am relating to my husband from the perspective of Me and not Us. It is true that you can be away from your spouse and still feel the Us factor, it is also possible to physically be together and not operating in the Us mode. I was struck by how often I can abide with my husband, perform family activities and all the while foster a demeaning and defensive heart towards him. We were enlightened to learn how easily Us can be broken. It might be a simple rebuttal, a smart retort or my specialty; the blame. Following the retreat we have become keenly sensitive to Us seeking to restore it as soon as possible when broken. Life throws a lot of unforeseen punches, and why complicate it with marital conflict? Who am I kidding? I do die to my personal desires some days in order to remain amiable towards my spouse. Other days I nurse the self, therefore, amiable towards husband is nowhere to be found.
I was particularly fond of the Saturday afternoon session about fun times in Marriage. The exercise was: number your paper 1-10, write the top ten things you would love to do with your spouse, the first three would be things that involve planning and saving. We wrote the lists separately from our spouses, then came together to compare. When Shannon handed me his list, the waterworks released, as if I hadn’t been teary-eyed all weekend. It greatly touched my heart that our lists were almost identical. Some of these things we had never even talked about!
The day also held a four hour window to go and check something off the list! Shannon had written on his list that he wanted us to share a Strawberry italian cream soda together. I found that particularly sweet and even better, I had never had one!
That weekend was a reprieve for us, a welcome oasis. I appreciate the Lord providing these rest spots. We, truly were extremely busy when the opportunity arose to attend this retreat; kids, deadlines, ministry, house remodeling and on and on. We knew we needed to take some time out.
To Strengthen ourselves in the Lord.
What about you? let’s chat, leave a comment and share whatever is on your mind today!