Kindness- to ourselves

A friend turns 30, a trip is planned, nine girls spending a weekend on a ranch overlooking a lake,    horses, and all that girly trips entail.  I nearly declined the invitation due to finances and the feeling  that this was way too luxurious. I recognized the voice of the enemy and decided NOT to listen. ” Ok  self, no, I really don’t have the extra money to do this, but who cares, Im going anyway”. The  husband was fully supportive.

First, I got a call to play piano in a wedding that Saturday, Beatles songs -that is. The chance to  challenge myself as a piano player and make some {needed} money. The voice started rolling “ Your  really do need to become better at playing classic rock music and you really should make some  extra  money.”  I recognized the enemy was once again trying to steal this opportunity for rest and    relaxation. The hubs was still rallying that I go on the trip. I declined the Piano Job.

Next, My husband and our band were asked to open for Caleb The band, that Friday night. The voice started ranting again ” You have to stay now, you can’t dissapoint your husband, after all, y’all minister together”. My saga was pouring out to the husband and he looked unmoved, “ what do you mean you need to stay? no, you don’t,  I knew you were gonna be gone, I’ve got a free-form acoustic variation set already planned, band practice scheduled”.  So, I said ” You know what self, I am putting a guilt trip on myself, STOP IT!   I will go on this girls trip”.

Then last night the dishwasher broke, and not a quiet death, dear dishwasher decided to bathe the entire kitchen with it’s contents before calling it quits. Thanks, dear dishwasher, did you have to do this at 11:35 p.m? The house was a wreck and I started doubting my decision. I really shouldnt do this, go out of town with the dishwasher broken”. I grabbed my yardstick of truth I’ve been storing in my brain this week and started swatting at that nasty thought. I told it where to go and where to stay. I also informed myself that the hubs was quite the talent of a  dishwasher .

I have a new mid year resolution,

To be kinder to myself.

At the moment these words become live on the web I will be in a mountain cabin on a ranch over looking a lake with nine fab girls, my kids might eat hot dogs three times a day and the hubs might forget a change of clothes for church but in the end,  It will all be ok.

What about you? Could you be kinder to yourself?

*pic taken by yours truly, Saint Simons Pier at dusk. This image says reprieve and peace to me.