Goodbye! Hello! Life is full of them.
Greetings and partings are just a part of life, & a heart wrenching degree of parenting is sandwiched between these two words.
Embracing and letting go are the essence of our years as parents – our entire lives are spent embracing and letting go. Anytime there is change, there is also a degree of grief.
This week I encountered an opportunity to both embrace and let go.
Yes, I have entered the life of a school-aged parent.
My oldest child is attending a public school, which is something I never did. I was home schooled and, in later grades, schooled at a private, christian school. I did in fact grieve through this change.
I initially was a bit angry that we didn’t have the money to attend private school.
I explored financial aid and tried to use my bargaining skills to figure out tuition payments for private school. It was plain and clear that was not the right option at the time.
I was then worried that my parents would disapprove of my decision because they are both homeschool advocates. Thus a bit of depression was experienced.
I came to accept that I did not feel led to homeschool at the moment.
I came to accept that public education was the best decision for our family at this time.
Then the embracing began as I met his new teacher, became enthralled with the adorable vintage school that is across the street from the beach! Yes, you heard me, on the first day we could actually see waves and sea gulls while walking into school. I also signed permission for him to go on field tips to the beach during school time. Hello, science class at the beach!
The school he is attending is absolutely precious and wonderful! I am looking forward to a great experience, and my family has been supportive in encouraging us to make the best decision for our family.
I knew there was no way he would cry or show fear: he is extroverted and very outgoing. Nonetheless, he did tell me he felt “a little shy” and he held my hand pretty tight walking down the hallway!
We posed for pictures and then he took his place, he looked up with a somber expression and said “I’ll be a good boy, Mama – I’m gonna make some good friends“. We said goodbye and then he called my name and came running to the door. I thought surely he was gonna cry and ask me not to leave – instead he said,”I just came back to tell you to have a good day and give you a kiss“!
When 2:35PM rolled around I was ready to hug my baby and hear all about his day so we went straight to the beach to ride waves and get sandy and sun-burned!
I’m not gonna lie – letting go can be painful and hard – however, if we allow ourselves to grieve through the changes we will be able to embrace with a full heart!