saintlewis

5 years 5 x 50,000 lessons learned…

One and a half months ago: July 17^th 2009 marked the milestone – 5 life changing years of marriage and 5 x 50 000 lessons learned to date. The day approached and I was expectant. Jeremiah 29:11 began to ring through my soul “For I know the plans I have for you…” Then two nights before our anniversary I was awakened with this verse screaming at me: “You are a new creation the old has gone the new has come.”(2 Corinthians 5:17)

My heart began to feel dreams unfolding seeing the tips of the mountains and the hope flooding in…

and we talked………………..

We were mulling over the hard questions:

· What are we most proud of ?

· Worst disappointments /challenges?

· How did we handle crisis?

· What could we do better?

· What are we doing well?

· What about parenting?

· Etc etc etc

The conversations went on and on for days.

We felt a stirring of sorts. These years had definitely brought some crisis and crisis always means change.

Humorous memories of our wedding day filled late night talks. While reviewing old pics I thought that maybe I had gotten married in the dark ages. I mean really- “what are these brown square things”… “Oh that’s film”… you heard me right – our wedding was shot on FILM… yes 35mm film.

Needless to say I marched up to Walgreens with a million film packets in hand asking for C.D.s – DIGITAL PHOTOS thank you very much. Now I can edit them…in fifty years when I have that kind of time.

Through vivid imagery we watched a beautifully arranged video

listened to songs thoughtfully written for each other

recalling meticulous details and how important they were to me –

each detail had some significance.

I remembered how thematic I had been about the whole thing…

I was a kindergarten teacher. I planned with themes taught in themes and even thought in themes – I still do!

The video collage included footage from the rehearsal dinner. My memory began to un-cloud “Oh I had a theme for that night!” I recalled: “Harmonies of praise” – looking back it sounds more like the title to a 80’s Hosanna tape (I said “tape” – mind you). I can see the big worship leaders packet complete with lyrics and chord charts. I remembered the strong desire to create beautiful harmony literally and figuratively with my marriage and life. This meant the interweaving of two separate lives individually secure and rooted in Jesus coming together. The wedding memories served as shovels to dig out the true desires I had for our union.

I felt the revelation. The knowledge that I had a different plan of what our ministry would look like. As be toppled over bumps in the road and recovered the Lord began to reveal. I feel clearer about where we are headed and what we are doing. I am truly grateful for the disappointments and conflicts – they have only strengthened us. Our relationships are deeper. Our community is wider. We are better. We are becoming seasoned and are aging with Jesus. We had our own idea of where we were headed. As we have been in this refining stage our dreams have become infused with God’s. It’s a beautiful thing I think.

So eight weeks ago we committed to strengthening our marriage. Here are some of the ways:

· Regular date nights: I am having a blast with this. We used to say we didn’t have the

money. PSHAW! There are really great ways to have cheap dates but that’s

another blog entirely!

· Prayer accountability and devotion: we have been rising early to do Love Dare. We

pray that the children will stay asleep – most of the time they do. This has been

phenomenal. If we don’t get up early we squeeze it in some other way.

· Marriage enrichment: We each currently reading What every woman/man should

Know. Great books with some helpful insights. The one for men begins with a fold-out

chart and Shannon – with chart in hand – walked into the bathroom where I was

cleaning up and said “Hey Cyle – according to this fold-out you’re pretty normal!”

I’m normal! How encouraging!

I am honored and privileged to be married to my best friend and the best part? He never runs out of cool interesting fun-facts or stories to tell me! …. And there’s more – Im married to my favorite singer… Looking forward to the rest of life!

Cyle

One of those days

by saintlewis Leave a Comment

Today was one of those days (in a good way)… one of those days that come once a year … one of those days that are somewhat bittersweet. The day when you reflect over your life relationships and accomplishments. That day would Be October 13th – my birthday – 31 years ago.

Last year I turned the big 30. It was pretty disappointing. I was large with child and hormonal. Let me recap lat year’s birthday:

I awoke awaiting a birthday guesture of some sort from hubbbie-love. When he didn’t even mention it I thought he would do it later (soon but still later). He quickly got ready to go work the Brunswick Stewbilee and left without so much as a simple “happy birthday”. Later that day I came to stewbilee with Kenimer I thought surely he would mention it – still nothing. We even walked along the waterfront together – still no mention that it was my birthday. I went home and he came home later..still no mention of it. By this time I was getting upset. I prepared to get ready to go have some birthday fellowship with my girlfriends. It was now 7:00 and my husband had not yet even hinted that the day was any different than any other. As I got ready to leave I displayed my unhappy attitude and Shannon innocently asked what was wrong? I precede to tell him I was very hurt that it is my 30th birthday and he had not yet even mentioned it and that I was feeling unimportant – among various other far more hormonal statements.

Shannon’s response was that he was going to go to the store and get me a present and card when I left to hangout with my girlfriends. I told him that that there were many other non-monetary ways to show special treatment on birthdays. I gave him a dozen suggestions in which he wholeheartedly apologized for his thoughtless behavior. He assured me he did care about my birthday and would try to be more thoughtful in the future. When I got home that evening he had bought me exactly what I had asked for – a vacuum cleaner (because I was in ‘nesting mode’ and I all I wanted to do was clean) and a ‘sweet’ card with the words “I hope your birthday gift sucks real good“! 😉 The next day I awoke and began my thirtieth year forgetting about my birthday altogether!

Fast forward to today.. I awoke this morning with hubbie gone. I came out and went down the hall I walked in the kitchen and he had written a birthday note on the chalbboard and then went in the family room in which he had another birthday note on the bulletin in that room. He got our oldest child up to trace his handprint and have him draw a picture for me which he then had our 3 year old present me with a card and Reese’s pieces (my favorite.) My son then serenaded me with ” happy birthday” – it was lovely! Hubbie-love then brought me hot tea bacon and hash-browns for breakfast! Lastly without me knowing it he pulled the sweetest stunt of all: he got my cell phone and texted a bunch of friends to remind them that it was birthday. So all throughout the day I got nice text messages and sweet voice mails from friends and family! I was overjoyed by my husbands thoughtfulness. I remembered my outburst last year and that he was trying to make it up to me! He was so precious and managed to remind me throughout the day that he loved me and was glad I existed and wanted to celebrate this day of my life!

Since I had to go to Savannah for an important appointment Shannon and the boys went with me. We went to the Pirate House for lunch then walked River street. Kenimer and I shared a bag of candy from a candy shop. We enjoyed the sights and sounds of local artists trying to make a buck! We made a few shopping stops on the way home. Overall I enjoyed my day with my precious family.

When I laid my head on my pillow I thanked my God for another year of health and wholeness – I thanked him for my beautiful boys – for letting me survive another pregnancy birth and infant. Lastly I thanked him for my amazing husband who strives to be the best he can be. My husband who isn’t always perfect but tries to be a Godly compassionate husband and father. My husband who sincerely apologizes Who says he is sorry even when he doesn’t totally undertstand my deal. Who truly studies me and seeks learn me. This year he knows me a little better and that makes my heart sing!

Thank You Lord for another year…

-Cyle