Hope Farm Housewife

my patchwork life

Holding Hands

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It was the first time I had attended a wedding in my home church. Hubby and I slipped into a back row seat, immediately we began to notice old, familiar faces we were eager to reconnect with. I took note of all the details while the usual events played out- processional, vows, kiss etc. It was nearing reception time, I glanced up and was suddenly frozen in thought. In front of me was an usher and the grooms mother. She had just wiped the fresh tears from her face. It appeared that tears had been falling on this womens face for quite some time. My mind raced through years as I imagined myself playing the role of the Grooms Mother. Future visions of tears falling in fresh abundance on my face flashed before my eyes.

My mental images then turn to the present. Why, this very morning we ran a typical family errand to Lowes. We were going to look for a toilet bowl lid to replace the one that had broken. Broken? yes, this tragedy occurred when Tucker was playing Curious George about the toilet top. He attemped to take it off while shattering it all over the floor and cutting his leg. Why do boys care what goes on under the toilet bowl?

Back to the point, the boys are in a stage where it is of utmost importance to hold mommy’s hand EVERYWHERE we go. Daddy’s hand will not do. We have often tried taking turns.

My plan: one boys walks with momma and the other with daddy, then we switch off after a few minutes. Sounds good, right? NOPE as of late, this plan ensures that one boy will relentlessly wail, ” I wanna hold mammas hand” while the other boy proudly walks with mamma. I always give in. I can’t stand it. This stage of the boys insisting on holding my hands is quite sweet, so sweet in fact that mommy usually ends up handing merchandise over to daddy and relinquishing buggy duties so that I can hold their hands. When the crying boy comes and grabs my other hand- he usually wipes away the tears, sniffs one last time and smiles real big.

AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

We prance around Target, Lowes, Harris Teeter, or wherever, but there is peace in our little world because mommy has two hands and there is one for each of them. As I relive the details of the morning, My heart fills with warmth, not the kind that comes from a fire in winter- this warmth will live on through the years by way of trusted memories.

Back to wedding, I am still locked on the weepy mother of the groom, my mind is lingering on this contemplation: one day I’le be locking arms with a handsome usher walking out of my sons wedding. I pinched myself and said “ don’t forget how the boys would fight and cry over who held mamas hand at the store”. I determined to never forget the warmth that those sticky, sweaty, precious hands brought to my heart.

Lord, please help me to live in the present. Please arrest my thoughts when I get caught up in looking to the future. Remind me to treasure the moments of the NOW. Thank you Jesus!

Can anybody relate?

Living Waters 2010

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The Lewis family took a trek up to the North Carolina Mountains a few weeks ago. Shannon and I led worship for a middle school camp. The site was called Living Waters and was just a few miles outside of a cool  tree-hugging town called Brevard.

This trip was such a refreshment to us in many ways.

First our children were able to accompany us. The camp operates on parental volunteers in addition to their paid staff. Each middle schooler who attended camp also had a parent who came to work the kitchen snacks etc. While we were having morning and night meetings the parents were having their own worship and intercessory prayer meetings in the cafeteria. The parents did not room with their children. They stayed with other parents. I saw neat bondings happening as parents prayed with others parents for their children. The benefit for us was that their were many adults who took turns caring for my children while I led worship and attended practices with Shannon. 2nd     we stayed in a three story house. The bottom floor housed female campers and counselors. The middle floor housed the camp director and his wife     along with two children (the same ages as mine!) and another married couple. We stayed on the top floor which had two bedrooms and a full bath.  These couples became dear friends. We stayed up many evenings eating snacks processing the day and enjoying rich fellowship with like minded people.

Other highlights:

A golf cart was the primary means of transportation for staff. We got up every morning dressed and rode the cart to breakfast…and lunch…and dinner… and at snack time. ( I got really spoiled!) While we were at meetings the sitters & my kids (and their friends) would ride the carts all over camp to explore. (I have a stinking suspicion they spent most of that time throwing rocks – which brings me to the next highlight.

Rock Throwing became a favorite pastime for my boys. They searched for the perfect rock then promptly threw it in the river making different sized splashes. I think they could have done this for hours.

Everywhere you walked at camp you could hear the rush of the falls. It was like having a sound machine on all the time- except this was the real thing. The mere sounds of the falls reminded me of God’s love constantly- the roaring rush and neverending waters. The afternoons were spent in the river. The camp schedule went like this: river time snacks then nap time before dinner. We pretty much followed this schedule. The counselors split up and went to different river locations different times of the day. The counselors were very trained on safety and did a good job of life guarding the area. Shannon rode the rooster tail with both boys. The rooster tail is like a water ride the slope of the rock resembles a tail that has a high jump at one point. The boys were in heaven!

If you were not riding the rooster tail you could go to the Chalet area which is the waterfall in the front picture. There were several small rocks to slide and lots of areas to wade and swim. Shannon took the boys under falls and even climbed up the rock side of one waterfall with Kenimer.


Tucker’s not so sure.


I Think we look like the Tarzan family in this one!

I really can’t describe how special this week was for us. The counselors were some of the most outstanding high school and college kids we have ever met. They truly ministered to us in many ways. Singing original songs and having the kids ask to sing them really increased my confidence that these songs come from Jesus and he has a plan for them. The only job we have is to be good stewards of the songs he gives us.

We left Camp Saturday night after some tears and heartfelt conversations. We headed down to Atlanta and woke up early Sunday morning in order to get to GRACE FELLOWSHIP by 7 a.m. We were leading for all three services. Although we were energy depleted at the end of Sunday- I can’t think of any better way to spend eight days! A friend of mine stayed with the boys Sunday morning for the first two services and we brought to the afternoon service. She reported that Kenimer cried at breakfast saying that we had to go to the white building to eat breakfast (I think he was a little spoiled also). He was asleep when we got into ATL and was quite traumatized that we were not at Camp! The Lewis Family was completely rejuvenated and encouraged by our eight day adventure!

Oh Baby…

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Babe parties. The last two weekends have involved two of them. One was a traditional Saturday women’s shower and the other happened to be a couples shower.

It seems that there is a trend… when I get a baby party invite…there is usually another. The same occurrence with weddings. One wedding invite and soon another and the same with showers. This confirms my theory that clusters of babies are born around the same time. AND. There really might be something in the water…ditto for marriages as well. I fully heart the institution of marriage and the practice of baby making.

I also adore present making.

Though it does take some time and effort. Lately I have been too busy and thus recipients of my baby shower and wedding attending have gotten store bought gifts. I feel that I have done someone an injustice when I buy a store-bought gift. I don’t know why…but if I purchase a gift I really want it to be unique. You guessed: It is nearly impossible for me to buy from a registry. With the ever increasing absence of “extra money” I have resorted to making gifts again.

For the baby showers I make hospital signs. They are signs that record the date time weight and height of the baby’s birth and can be placed on the wee one’s nursery door later. The first one I made was for my baby (two and a half year ago)! It was made from a small slate chalkboard. I have made them with wood cut outs of animals or whatever the room theme. These two are a bit simpler as the nurseries were not specific themes- just colors.

This one is for Cassie May. The font is Jane Austen.

”

This one is for Cannon Van… which is such a smart name. The font is traveling Typewriter.

They were made from two thin pieces of wood ribbon and acrylic paint…all items in my art boxes in the shed. Never pass up an opportunity to create or “make something” out of your resources. Your mood will thank you later. I promise. It does a body good. Kinda like milk.

Sunday Mornin' – the Bus is a'Waitin'….

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Yesterday was a most favorite day in my book. Why?

 

Shannon was leading at SSCC and I was singing harmonies and playing keys for him.

 

I Love: Sunday Morning when we get up at the crack of dawn to catch the bus – when the kids eat their toast in the car – when I am slap wore out on Sunday afternoons and the whole house is hushed with nappingness…

 

The day looks something like this:

We lay everything out the night before (and I do mean everything).

We get up really early and head over to the bus stop to catch the bus to SSCC.

SSCC staff ride the bus to church to eliminate parking issues.  The boys think this is so fun. Their backpacks are ready with snacks drinks games ipod etc.

We arrive at the church and I have someone set up to watch kids while we sound check/rehearse. The main rehearsal is on Thursday nights so this is really just to spot check and review levels. This past Sunday the sitter was a younger sister of a girl who was singing on our team. The boys had a blast sitting in the lobby: Kenimer loves Sunday rehearsals since that is one of the rare times he gets to play games on the IPOD. Tucker put together a mini puzzle.

After practice they go to breakfast club which is set up for children of volunteers or staff who serve one and attend one. This keeps the kids from having to attend their tiny town class twice.They eat breakfast and play games. After first service I get the boys and we hang out in the Rush Hour room (middle school service) while Shannon is usually practicing. This week Kim Dixon  was leading for Rush Hour. We enjoyed listening to her rehearsal.

The kids always eat their snack and play some more… often stopping to run laps around the room or wrestle with middle school youth pastor Justin. Then it’s time for 2nd service and I take them to their Tiny Town classes. On Sundays we only go to one service Keminer often cries because he does’nt get to ride the bus to church or attend breakfast club.

 

This week as I sat backstage I realized how blessed I am to be able to do this with my life partner. There are things I have been praying about for a while regarding my personal life heart for worship attitude and so on. I realized that Jesus indeed is changing me from the inside out.

Here is a short worship confessional from the perspective of a keyboardist and back up singer:

Happy Day (Hughes)- walk in music- I love how Shannon started this song- Acapella and then built it. I especially love the keyboard riff.

Glory to God Forever (Fee)- Such a solid worship song- we had done it three weeks before congregation responded well and I love the harmonies.

Wandering Heart (Saint Lewis original)- a song about returning to your first love. I am so humbled and blessed to have been part in writing it.  Check out tomorrow’s blog for a bit more about this song.

Not Guilty Anymore (Aaron Keyes) This was a communion song about being set free from the bondage of our sins. Shannon and I are getting to know Aaron and his family and have already been so blessed and encouraged by them. This is a short excerpt from Sunday…take a listen…

“Not Guilty Anymore” (Aaron Keyes) led by Shannon Lewis @ SSCC by  SaintLewis

Then our closing songs:

You are my King (Foote)- Great response song.

Mighty to Save (Hillsong)- Love the Laura Story riffs in the beginning- This song is so anthemic. It touches me every time I sing or play it. We combined Laura Story’s piano intro riff with Hillsong’s driving intro rhythm. It really worked well!

 

Here is my best friend and songwriting partner and I – backstage between services!

 

 

Wellness Wednesday: surrender and God's Sovereignty

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The heartache tragedy and pain that this world brings can render questions anger and doubt. I see that the only way to remain Well in the midst of crisis is to surrender. To give up. To relinquish. – To trust to love and to hope.

 

It’s been a gut-wrenching tear–jerking composure-wrecking Wednesday.  Yet it’s also been a blessing in some small ways as well.

 

Shannon and I sang Chris Tomlin’s “I will Rise” in a funeral today: a six year old who had developed Leukemia a little less than two years ago.  His mommy was a MOPS mate of mine.  I wish that I could say that we were close and that I knew her well – I can’t – but I can say that there have been a number of occasions that she’s blessed my socks off.

 

I was at “Open Gym” at Golden Isles Gymnastics. I had an almost-two-year-old and was pregnant – it had been a tough week and I was feeling very discouraged. She walked up to me and said “I don’t think you know me but I have been attending Saint Simons Community Church and I wanted to tell you that I am really blessed when your husband leads worship.”  That brightened my day.

 

Later in my pregnancy I began double-stroller shopping at yard sales.  One Saturday morning I happened upon her yard sale and she was selling the exact stroller I had been hoping for.  When I tried to pay for it – if my memory serves me right – I think she gave it to me or I paid about nothing for it. She even carried it to my car because I was prego.

 

Her oldest son was diagnosed with Cancer and her difficult journey began: we saw her less and less and kept up via updates – fundraisers and such.

 

Then Summer of 2008 – I will never forget – I was at a Doctor’s office with Kenimer. It had been – for me – a very stressful day. I had been waiting a very long time only to find that I had to go to the car to retrieve some documentation I had left. It was one of those unprepared mommy days where I had left home with no sippies snacks etc. I was trying to figure out how to grab my child – {who was having a total melt-down} – walk outside in the heat and return with required papers. Right then she walked in with her 2nd son in a bathing suit and cover up having just come from swimming lessons – her older son in Jacksonville getting a chemo treatment with a family member while she was taking the day to spend with her little guy. Just then Kenimer started screaming and the front desk lady rudely reprimanded me.

 

This girl reached out her hands offering me help “Here – let me put him in the  stroller and I’ll stroll them around while you go out to your car” reaching ino her basket to produce a brand-new box of teddy grahams. Kenimer was overjoyed. I walked outside retrieved my papers and headed back in – but feelings of being frazzled stressed and pregnant evoked tears on the way back in the building. I tried to gain my composure but she still noticed. She said “I have plenty of these days myself – trust me.” I felt that an  angel had come to my assistance but as I left the building it hit me that her other child was in a hospital in another town with cancer and she had just offered ME help comfort and encouragement!

 

When I received word that he had passed away on March 5th I could not stop thinking of his sweet mother and what a blessing she had been to me.  She had touched my heart and my heart was moved at the funeral today.

 

Strangely enough I remember almost nothing about singing/playing the song – I just felt God’s presence so intensely that it was like an out-of-body experience – as though I was watching me do it from a distance.  Strange how moments filled with such sadness can also be powerful and revelatory. I am so aware that when tragedy and crisis come knocking we find comfort in sweet surrender and the realization of God’s sovereignty.

 

The words Job 1:21 come to mind “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.”