Hope Farm Housewife

Disclaimer: I am returning from a sabattical, a month long reprieve from writing. My mind has been a bit scattered and my pen unable to record anything sane. Then of course, there was lots of pavement chasing as we traveled more than ever with Hope Farm music ministries. My God has been a real friend and I have gained true perspective and new focus.

In an effort to catch – up. I simply have to begin with my most beloved holiday of the year: The Freedom Day!

Highlight # 1 In the midst of a very stressful season I did manage to get a little crafty.

I asked hubby to cut me a star, then after the star was cut I saw an opportunity for a different kind of star that could be cut from the cut-out. I asked him to cut the outline and I covered it with red, white and blue yarn. I was quite pleased with the outcome!

Highlight #2 Our neighborhood was re- emerged with a sense of community and it is a lovely thing. A few neighbors and I planned a Hospice fundraiser a few months ago, the success was unbelievable so we decided to go all out for an old fashioned July fourth hoorah. It started at 9 am. Festivities included a parade of decorated things, kids on bikes, in wagons, etc etc. games, races, crafts, volleyball, grilled lunch, watermelon, lemonade, and great hang- out time.

Highlight # 3 Kenimer wants to be a chef and a worship leader when he grows up. While the worship leader part is easy to encourage the chef part takes some effort. Tucker ended up taking a nap giving Kenimer and I some time to make a flag cake.

Higihight number #4 Cook-out- the boys helped me prepare for the party even down to picking the itunes playlist!

We had friends and family over for cook- out and the guys ended up playing guitar, my oldest grabbed his baby taylor to join:

Highlight#5: Fireworks

The boys jumped in the double jogging stroller, and I felt a little sad- knowing all too well that next year they would be way too big to fit. We walked down to our downtown park which overlooks the water and watched the fireworks right in front of the water. Every picture I took showed a clear view of the moon!

And that concludes July 4, 2011!

 

Following the labor and birth of my two boys, this is the scariest event of my life.

It all happened just two weeks ago.

My husband and I were teaching at a creative arts camp, the worshipping arts class to be exact. It was loads of fun! Besides teaching on our favorite subjects, we swam, sat around campfire late at night, made s’mores, and… rode horses.

I shudder at the last activity.

I suppose didn’t exactly ‘ride’ the horse. The last morning of camp, several leaders and their families hadn’t yet had a chance to ride, so the owner of the ranch invited us out to join him.

My husband and I each rode with one of the boys.  Shannon has had a great deal of experience with horses, having broken and trained his own growing up, and thought nothing of a quiet stroll with the boys.  Shannon jumped on his horse with the 5 year old, & I rode with the three and a half year old. To tell ya the truth, the horse was acting funny from the minute I got on the saddle. He didn’t seem to be following my lead AT ALL.  My husband even noted that I didn’t have control of the horse (I’d been on him no more than a minute) – he just didn’t seem to be responding to my reigns.  Shannon was watching us closely from his horse, giving me directions to see if the horse would respond. It had been a good trip so far, we were with friends – I told myself it would all be fine.

We gathered around the ring, then somehow one of my reins came untied and dropped.  My husband said “THAT is NOT good” and began trotting my way to help, and the owner also took note and headed our way.

Our horse stumbled on the reign, and took off.  First  a fast trot, then a run, then full gallop.  We were flying.  I had only one reign, to which the horse was not responding, as we sped along the fence-line, flopping up and down, higher and higher, finding it continually harder to hold onto both the horse and my son, who was – at this point – crying loudly.

Tucker began to slip from the right side of the horse – each bounce we had less control.  Suddenly I had a thought: I have got to get off this horse before I am thrown off.

Then I heard three-step directions,

1) Wrap your right arm around your son     2) Dip head down    3) Let yourself fall to the left.

I followed the directive, knowing full well it was from the Lord. The directions were calming and quiet – two character traits I did not possess at the time. I was panicking, and screaming.  It had to be God.

I wrapped my arm around him – I remember my ponytail flapping behind me – we were at a crazy speed. I felt the air whirring past my cheeks.

Then all time stopped. All I know about the next few minutes are what people told me later.

Apparently, I fell on my head and back (it definitely feels as though I did!) – I was limp, back to the ground, unconscious, and spread out on the ground like a thrown doll. My son fell on my belly and chest, and literally bounced right up, unscathed but frightened, started wailing for me to get up. I couldn’t hear him and have no memory of this. In fact, it really, really bothers me that I can’t remember this. The boys were taken back to our cabin.

I awoke up to lots of people around me, one lady friend – a nurse – was urgently asking me to squeeze her hand, asking if I could hear her. I heard them long before I could answer. It was like I was trapped in a tunnel.

Then I opened my eyes and cried because my head was pounding. I heard the words “ambulance”, “seizure activity”, & “unconscious”, and I wonder who they are talking about.  Who got hurt?

Then a paramedic appeared asking me what happened? What day is it?  It occurred to me they think I may have brain damage.  I wanted to prove to them that all my marbles are intact, so not only did I tell him what day it is, I told him the date, approximate time, my name and age.

Before I knew it I was on a stretcher, in an ambulance. The ride was an hour to the nearest quality hospital. Shannon rode in the front and was making phone calls I considered asking him to sing to me, because his voice is soothing, but dismissed the idea for some deep breathing, since my heart rate was skyrocketing and the paramedic told me I must be nearing serious panic. I managed to get the rate down to normalcy with ‘breathe in through nose and out through mouth’ in segments of ten.

I had my first cat scan, lots of x rays, lots of pain, pain medicine, muscle relaxants, anti-inflamiaories, and lastly I am dismissed with no broken bones, and no permanent brain damage – I was told I suffered a concussion and must follow up with my doctor. I walked out of the hopsital in a blue hospital gown – the epitome of style – since my jeans had been cut off of me when the doctors were still unsure whether or not I had any broken bones.

I  was hurting but nothing compared to waking up the next morning.  I honestly didn’t think I could move.  Muscles hurt that I didn’t know I had. It was like p90x hurt times 90,000!

The first few days home, I was in pain, getting dizzy and resting a lot.  Saw my chiropractor several times, am still regularly icing, getting dizzy some more, and am still getting upset that there is actually a portion of my life I can’t remember. I mean, I never forget anything.

I cant get Tucker to talk about it at all. He might say something like “the horse was going real fast” and walk away. Today I felt a strong urge to discuss it with him. He’s been sad because I have not picked him up much lately.

He said “Feeling better?  You can pick me up now”?

I said yes, and then he said it.

“I thought you were dead when the horse threw us – I really thought you were dead. I screamed a lot.” I asked, “Why did you think that?” He said “because you were laying there like an angel – you looked like an angel.” Next, he laid on the floor sprawled his arms and legs out to show me what I looked like.

That’s not exactly what people at the accident scene told me. That’s not what my husband told me I looked like.

Then I remembered the directions from Jesus, the nurse that told me its a miracle I didn’t break anything. The picture my three year old has of his mama looking like an angel.

GODS GRACE.

He is so merciful and kind, It is the hard times that he seems nearer, even when hard time after hard time comes, we can always find Him in the story. He is somewhere in there. There have been times I honestly couldn’t profess this. One day I was reading scripture about how He will never leave us nor forsake us, I began to pour my heart out to him, saying I feel as if you have left me and forsaken me. I heard him say “Ask me to show how I have been there“. I did this and I was amazed at the memories and realizations that came showing He was always there I just didnt always see it.

Thank you sweet Jesus for protecting my son from injury, and thank you for protecting me, his mother. Thanks for allowing me to stick around to see him grow up. I love You.

 

I have found something quite peculiar about the charming downtown of Greenville, South Carolina. I have been there twice in the past month.

Did I say Charming?

It has the cutest streets, the neatest shops, and lovely architecture. I am truly a sucker for downtown areas, any downtown especially when “historic” is rubbed into the description.

On our first trip we were walking along the streets with a few hours to spare before sound check at our downtown venue.

My husband and I and the rest of the band were  “oohhhing” and ahhhing” over the cupcake shops, old fashioned general store, and elaborate toy shop when we saw a sign bearing the picture of a waterfall.  Say what?

That’s right, the sign was pointing to a water fall just down the way. We all laughed at the thought of a waterfall sitting in the middle of this lively downtown.

We strolled along continuing to enjoy the sights and sounds, when we saw it up ahead.

Gigantic…..Beautiful……Peaceful.

I forgot that a few steps before I was in town, my feet continued to take me down the steps and over a bridge, I was so captivated by the magnificence.

All I could say is, “I can’t believe it is sitting right here in the middle of town.”

I mean, waterfalls are usually in the wilderness surrounded by grass carpet, hills and trees as far as the eye can see. Right?

I continued to marvel at this beauty, I took pics and I stood in front, listening to the water fall and watching it seamlessy pour over the rocks. I began to feel a bit of peace.

I continued to say to myself, “This is so odd”

 

We made the trek back to the channel as I set my mind to ponder thoughts of settlers and early town developers and I muttered a gentle “duh”, to myself – I mean what smart developer would not set up shop near a beautiful waterfall?

Just a few moments of watching the wonder of the fall and you feel refreshed, not to mention the benefit of abundant water in those early days.

The following weekend we were back in Greenville with the whole family. We spent hours downtown eating cupcakes, trying to find the perfect toy in the toy store, becoming extremely thirsty and hot.

When we’d had enough, we made the trek to the falls.  The kids played in the wading area while I sprawled out on a quilt to read.

I tried to read some scripture and I kept looking up at the waterfall, I was captivated so I began to listen to see if the Lord was trying to tell me anything.

This is what I heard,

I want to be like this waterfall in your life, I want to be smack dab in the MIDDLE of your busy life,  so close and part of the days when you are thirsty, hungry and tired.

I want you to know exactly where to go when the bustle of daily life is overwhelming, when decisions are weighing heavily on you, when you  just need to breath.

I don’t want to be far away from you – I want to be highly accessible to you. I have made myself close, won’t you dive into the refreshment I am providing?

Just, come, sit and listen. I may speak, I may not, but I am always here.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

I often measure success by wins and losses.

You know the drill: if losses outweigh the wins the failure mentality starts to rear its ugly head.

It occurred to me that sometimes the most beneficial part about a race might not be winning but participating.

Maybe its more about the lessons learned along the way?

May it be that in the races we mentally put ourselves in, that “win” we deem so important for success is not in God’s master plan?

I recently submitted a lengthy proposal for a scholarship to a conference, it took a lot of time, involved some changes on my blog and allowed me to share my ideas for a website.

No, I didn’t win, though I did receive a special gift and a few other perks. I knew being one of the chosen eight was unlikely.

Why?

For one, my stat counter has never worked until very recently, so I could not provide important information. Despite not “winning” the act of entering the competition forced me to fix the stat counter, and establish several important features on the blog. I also shared ideas that were read and recorded by the site, as noted in a personal thank-you message.

Recently my husband and I have explored the idea that maybe – just maybe – a ” win” in our mind is not the “win” God has in mind for us.

I was reminded while in prayer that some of the wins we have strived for in our life may not be in line with the prayers I have been praying…

It could be that the prayers I pray are truly His heart for me but the “wins” I seek would only achieve affirmation from the world around me?

So often we want to “win” a platform or title in order to be deemed important in the worlds eyes.

When our path does not seem to equate to the world’s formula for success we often get discouraged.

You see, Our creator is the ultimate “Creative“.

He is always thinking outside the box. He is always devising a way that could be different from our American way of life.

He has a plan for you and me, it may be a wild ride, friend.

So come along, let’s explore this idea..

Maybe, just maybe not achieving that particular goal is a way for God to move you closer to his plan.

Maybe that Loss is actually a Win???

 

*Picture taken at USA Pro Cycling Championships in Greenville, SC.